


Be Still

by Swoon21



Category: NEWS (Japan Band)
Genre: All hurt no comfort, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:14:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25432198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swoon21/pseuds/Swoon21
Summary: Shige has a late night visitor.
Relationships: Kato Shigeaki/Tegoshi Yuya
Comments: 9
Kudos: 15





	Be Still

“What are you doing here?” Shige wearily asked the man standing in is dark hallway. 

“I needed to see you,” Tegoshi answered. He was wearing a hoodie and a mask but Shige thought he was still standing out from a mile away. He shook his head.

“Do you know what time it is?” It wasn’t a real question. It was well after midnight.

“I thought it would be better if nobody saw me. You’re not sleeping anyway, are you?”

Shige lingered in the doorway for a while, before silently moving to let the man in.

After taking off his shoes, Tegoshi settled on the living room sofa while Shige went into the kitchen. He soon returned with two whiskey glasses. He put them on the glass coffee table and sat in the leather armchair on the other side. The room was dark, save for the dim light from the kitchen.

“So what is it?” Shige asked after taking a sip.

“I brought your umeboshi containers.” Tegoshi said opening his backpack and putting said items on the table.

Shige laughed humorlessly.

“How nice of you. Is that all?”

“I know you’re mad. You have every right to be-”

“Do I?” Shige sneered and it made Tegoshi shudder. He’s never seen Shige like this. “There’s a reason I didn’t want to talk to you. I might say something I’ll regret.”

“I deserve that,” Tegoshi said.

Shige didn’t reply, only shook his head.

“So why are you really here?”

Tegoshi took some time to think over his answer before turning to Shige.

“I don’t want to leave things like that. I want us to stay friends. I know you need time-”

“Friends?” Shige interrupted. “You think you can just quit the band like it’s nothing and then just drop in for a chat? Hang out with your buddy Shige-chan?” There was so much hurt in Shige’s voice Tegoshi winced. “Sure. Let’s cook together. Go fishing. I’ll do your hair like in the good old days.”

“Shige… I’m really grateful for-“

“Don’t. I’ve heard enough of it. How grateful you are. How much you love us. Nothing personal, you just need to move on. NEWS was just a stage you outgrew.”

“It’s not like that!” Tegoshi exclaimed. “You have to understand. It’s not that I don’t care about you. It's about my dreams-“

“What about my dreams?” Shige shouted standing up suddenly and pacing around the floor. “Our dreams? Are they not important?” He finally stopped by the window his back to Tegoshi, bracing his arm against the wall and looking outside. For several minutes the room was silent.

When Shige finally returned, he sat on the sofa but didn’t look at the man next to him. The glasses were empty and Shige refilled them without asking. Tegoshi’s cheeks were pink but in the dark nobody could tell.

“You didn’t even bother to tell us in advance.” Shige finally said. “You just threw it in our face.”

“I told you as soon as I decided.” 

“Right,” Shige grimaced. “After your manager. And the higher-ups. And your friends. And then we didn’t even talk about it because you got a lawyer.”

“They told me to!” Tegoshi protested but Shige was having none of it.

“Do you have any idea how we felt?” Shige continued looking down his glass. “Do you know Koyama has been crying himself to sleep every night for the past month?”

“I didn’t- I’m sorry,” Tegoshi said as he scooted closer. “I really didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I want you to be sorry. But you are not, are you?” 

The room fell silent again. 

“What are you doing?” Shige asked as Tegoshi’s hand crawled over the sofa and rested on Shige’s thigh.

“I don’t know. Maybe I wanted to see a reaction, needed to know…” 

“What?” Shige demanded.

“That you still wanted me,” Tegoshi finally said.

Shige went still but in a moment, he moved swiftly pushing Tegoshi down on the couch and pinning him under his body. Tegoshi didn’t struggle, breathing hard.

“Is this what you want?” Shige’s low voice sent shiver down the man’s spine.

The kiss was rough and messy, Tegoshi’s body shaking with want. He put his hand into the thick black hair but Shige caught it pinning his wrist against the sofa. The room echoed with the sound of heavy breathing. The kiss ended as abruptly as it began. When Tegoshi opened his eyes, he saw the man looking at him with an unfamiliar expression.

“Shige…” he uttered, still breathless.

Shige looked at him as if he was a stranger, his thumb tracing Tegoshi’s cheek slowly.

“There was a time I wanted you so much,” Shige whispered. “You were everything I wasn’t – strong, bold, beautiful. But now…” Shige trailed off.

A single tear fell down Tegoshi’s cheek but he didn’t make a sound.

Then Shige was gone. Tegoshi shuddered, suddenly very cold. Slowly, he sat up. Shige was now sitting at the edge of the couch, head in his hands.

“You’re so used to getting what you want, aren’t you?” he said. “Did you really think we’d fuck and it would fix everything?”

“Shige…” Tegoshi said, frowning at how coarse his voice sounded. “It’s not like that. I missed you.”

“No, you didn’t. You just don’t want to be alone.”

Tegoshi scooted trying to get closer but Shige turned away needing to put distance between them.

“I’m not going to be a consolation for you.”

“You never were!” Tegoshi cried. “You never were”, he repeated quietly, his voice shaking a little.

“We’ve already been through this,” Shige said tiredly pushing his hair back. “Please don’t make it harder”.

There was a stifled sob but Shige did not turn to look.

“Why did you come here tonight? Did you expect me to tell you it’s ok? Because it’s not. You made your decision. Now you have to face the consequences.”

“I care about you,” Tegoshi tried again, but it sounded unconvincing, even to himself.

Shige’s expression changed slightly. He was looking down at the floor. The silence in the room hung heavy while Tegoshi waited for an answer.

“If you really care about me, do not come here anymore.”

“But I-”

“You’ll be fine.”

“Shige”, Tegoshi pleaded, his voice unusually quiet.

“Please, leave.”

Shige didn’t move as the man quietly got up. He waited until the door opened and closed before taking a deep breath. 

Shige sat in the dark for a long time. Only his shoulders shook slightly.


End file.
